Communicating is not giving up control.

Let me repeat that – COMMUNICATING IS NOT GIVING UP CONTROL.

Too many people fear communicating means to give control over to the person or people they are communicating with.

There is a fear that if people know a thing they can derail a thing, and while that may be true, a thing worth doing will get done regardless. In other words – where there’s a will, there’s a way.

If you have to choose a side to err on when it comes to communicating then err on the side of over-communicating. This is a good rule in marriages, families, friendships, and business.

When I hear phrases like “they/you wouldn’t understand” in response to a question what I really hear is someone coming up with excuses for being a poor communicator. The onus is on the communicator to understand their audience and to then communicate in a way that is understood by that audience.

The best decisions are made in an environment of full, open, transparent communication. When things get obfuscated. When the environment is one in which one group of people pinches off communication to others because they fear the others’ response – this is immediately a sign that trust no longer exists.

Communication whithers in an environment where trust is not given in all directions. In such an environment fractious siloing occurs and eventually it becomes an every person for themselves kind of place. Unhealthy.

Sometimes the response of the poor communicator to being challenged on an issue is to suggest that they are not being trusted. This is simply an evasion. Trsut works in all directions not one.

Sure sometimes communication causes pain but pain is a motivator…that is why we feel it. Pain is a sign that work needs to be done over here, in this area, before we can move forward. Pain is not a bad thing, pain is a symptom directing us to work.

The best thing about over-communication is that you do not have to carry the burden of secrets and half-revealed information always wondering what I should say and to whom, always having to be extra cautious around everyone. This leads to paranoia and eventually stress and burnout. A manager and/or leader who stokes and enables this kind of environment is a poor manager  guilty of abusing their employees.

Over-communicate! You will find it freeing and the catalyst for a healthier environment and happier people.

it is dark and i am warm in bed
and i can hear the cat’s water dish
splashing away downstairs
because it’s like a fountain
and we are those people.

the sounds become a baseball game
with a 1950s feel;
there is an announcer,
there is a crowd,
and i am there in New York –
Mickey Mantle and the Yankees
dismantling those bums from Boston,
and i can almost hear the score
above the ever-present roar
if i could get just a little closer.

there was a brilliant shout
that screamed forth in 1948
Athena from the skull of Zeus
and the echoes still ring
but they’re getting quieter
and a terrible silence comes

i am 50 years old
and i am a child
in my missing mother’s
loving arms

her absence
is like black cancer
hiding deep
within the flesh of my life
welling up
from time to time
making me retch
with the sickening bleakness
of it all

thank god
for her image
etched in silver on my heart,
it glows softly
leading me through my dark

we gathered at the lake
in the steaming chill of morning
before the witness of the rising sun
to watch our old men
baptize our young men
by pressing them underwater

and when they rose up again
they were supposed to be new

but time is a corrosive agent
and the young are eaten alive
lest they build impenetrable shells
letting no thought in
letter no love out

and

i wonder sometimes if it would be better
to let our young men
baptize our old men
by pressing them underwater

and leave them to drift away
as a testimony to their good lives

once
it was
thought

that
perhaps
we ought

to make
a better
kind of god

so we
gathered
together

we
birds
of a feather

to get
this horse
shod

a project
sure
to be
fun

but
upon
being
done

we
spied
something
odd

this
hand-made
adonis

looked
too much
like us

a
terrible
god

we
could not
laud

so
we
ran
away

we
could not
stay

but we
vowed
we’d make
a better god
another day

see a one
walk near
and think
“sit down”
until they do
and think
“go away”
so confuse,
such a mysterious,
what is it you want

just be near,
just exist in my space
as a ghost,
quiet and
almost,
but not quite
there

waiting…
my muse is late
or cheating on me
with a better poet

waiting,
trying to lure her
with coffee, Queen and Aerosmith
but she won’t come out

b i t c h

so i’m stuck here
looking at trees and a grey
uninspiring mess of sky
wondering and useless

i don’t care,
when she does show up
it’s usually with a smack,
a great sucker punch
to the back of my head

but the words that bleed
make me cry out
“HIT ME AGAIN!”
and she just sits there

smiling 😉

Nov. 23, 2018 Winnipeg, MB. // In its recent throne speech the Progressive Conservative government announced its intention to research the implications of removing the Here There Be Dragons Warning Signs that meet every Winnipeg resident as they approach the perimeter highway.

While it has been common knowledge to city residents for generations that nothing but a terrifying and bleak, monster-filled wasteland exists past the perimeter highway beyond which is thought to be the edge of our disk shaped province, some heretical voices are suggesting otherwise.

“In recent years we have sent unpersoned exploratory drones into the great beyond and have seen tantalizing, albeit fuzzy, out-of-focus images of what appear to be farms, homes, small towns and even, possibly cities,” said Wayne McDonald, a scientist with the Ministry of Manitoba Outer-reaches. “We believe it is possible that a thriving, culturally diverse, economically dynamic landscape exists just beyond the Winnipeg Safe Zone bounded by the perimeter.

McDonald’s comments have been met with skepticism by many but the premier is said to be interested in the possibilities given the legends that his family migrated to the city in generations past from the outer-reaches.

“The prospect of confirming this Atlantis-of-the-prairies is indeed compelling,” said Premier Brian Pallister. “That and the potential growth of our taxpayer base cannot be overlooked.”

With the onset of winter however even the Ministry of Manitoba Outer-Reaches admits it would be folly to venture forth past the safety of the perimeter until the spring thaw at the earliest.

“Once we feel it is safe enough additional drones will be sent out in April followed by human led expiditions in May,” said McDonald. “Depending upon what we learn the signs could come down as early as July. ”

 

people move like sharks

swimming angry at the gate

impatient to sit