Communicating is not giving up control.


Too many people fear communicating means to give control over to the person or people they are communicating with.

There is a fear that if people know a thing they can derail a thing, and while that may be true, a thing worth doing will get done regardless. In other words – where there’s a will, there’s a way.

If you have to choose a side to err on when it comes to communicating then err on the side of over-communicating. This is a good rule in marriages, families, friendships, and business.

When I hear phrases like “they/you wouldn’t understand” in response to a question what I really hear is someone coming up with excuses for being a poor communicator. The onus is on the communicator to understand their audience and to then communicate in a way that is understood by that audience.

The best decisions are made in an environment of full, open, transparent communication. When things get obfuscated. When the environment is one in which one group of people pinches off communication to others because they fear the others’ response – this is immediately a sign that trust no longer exists.

Communication whithers in an environment where trust is not given in all directions. In such an environment fractious siloing occurs and eventually it becomes an every person for themselves kind of place. Unhealthy.

Sometimes the response of the poor communicator to being challenged on an issue is to suggest that they are not being trusted. This is simply an evasion. Trsut works in all directions not one.

Sure sometimes communication causes pain but pain is a motivator…that is why we feel it. Pain is a sign that work needs to be done over here, in this area, before we can move forward. Pain is not a bad thing, pain is a symptom directing us to work.

The best thing about over-communication is that you do not have to carry the burden of secrets and half-revealed information always wondering what I should say and to whom, always having to be extra cautious around everyone. This leads to paranoia and eventually stress and burnout. A manager and/or leader who stokes and enables this kind of environment is a poor manager  guilty of abusing their employees.

Over-communicate! You will find it freeing and the catalyst for a healthier environment and happier people.

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