Episode 8 of The Emergency Podcast System –

there is the warm sun
and there is you lying, soft, with in it
there is the luxurious light
and there is you bathed golden in it
and there is you and everything as it should be
a perfect balance of life’s loving laughter
in a never ending Elysium

then the world slips,
just a little,
such an imperceptible jolt.
like falling yourself awake;
almost, you did not notice
but everything is different now
a slightly broken wholeness pervades.

pretend it never happened
as though nothing changed
and try to feel/grasp the warmth
like a lover lost just out of reach
but the voice behind the voice behind the voice
that sings mournful quiet behind your eyes
tells you that your world has broken
that loss has lighted and come to rest nearby
and you are locked behind glass
watching the good that was slide away
while you get colder in the deepening shadow
and you get colder in the deepening shadow

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1985300/10804999-who-s-your-daddy-my-family-history.js?container_id=buzzsprout-player-10804999&player=small

war creates demons;
profound monsters,
they keep us awake
at night
hiding under our beds;
and so we rally,
to kill them with fire,
as we learn
there are no good demons;
and peace,
it does not make angels
of the darkness we created
when we turned out the light;
all that remains now
is to kill them all.

inside
i am
5, 12, 16, 22, 35, 41, 54
but
these words
are

ageless

they remain
unchanged
and i
i contain
just a few more
each year
while
the façade fades
a little
and the driver
recedes
to ponder
the day
when he becomes
Prometheus unbound
returning
to the words
that have
been
constant
like an anchor
fixed
to horizon’s harbour
pulling me
forward
forever

this is a dark that has bite
this rolling thunderous black
that turns bright day to night
and heralds sullen Tempestas
as she spreads her charcoal cloak
over our wary heads
and prepares to cleanse the world

and one can only hope
to drown quickly

i am

A C C E L E R A T I N G

and the world
is a blur of motion
moving ever faster
before my eyes
like the foreground’s scenery
as i look out a train window
forcing me to stare
further into the distance
where things slow down
and come into focus

i cannot hear you
your words are stretched
and doppler fade into nothing
but i can see you still

i am

A C C E L E R A T I N G

as if i am leaving orbit
and heading toward
perspective’s pinprick zero point
while all the stars stretch before me
and i sit back in awe
to enjoy the ride

i can still taste her lipstick
like a shadow of her
pressed against my mouth
a taste of memory proving
that we have been
sealed with a hope for more

How is it one can contain

Such an endless, black

And bottomless pit of pain?

Only by closing each wide eye

And letting yourself fall

So that through it you might fly

I feel the ache

Of the breath of God

As it leaves his cooling corpse

In one last dying sigh

Whispering quietly

“You are alone”

. . .

But at least I was enough

To have been anything at all