It is sunny love and warmth

wrapped in good fortune

or grey skied anxiety

mixed with sad and angry

whatever it is

I exist

for a time

thankful I can ponder

even thoughts of

whether I should or would

if I could choose

he remembered thinking once –

“it’s life that leads to death in the end, really…”

one of a million
strange thoughts in the middle of the day
that drift in and play tag in your brain

strange truths that rattle about
and give you a headache
until you want to just scream
or simply distract yourself
with the day in day out
biding of time
until that day when
life will kill you

There was light

Streaming from everyone

The laughers and lovers

The present ones fully here

And I

I did what I do

I reflected it all

A bright mirror

In a room full of blazing suns

their love was a lead blanket
weighing down their prey
until they could not breathe;

it was an insecurity anchor
threatening to drown beloved
beneath the crushing weight
of ever-present expectation;

like a solid granite olive press
rolling constantly over bodies
in an unconscious effort
to maintain that “extra virgin”
until every drop of affection
had escaped and run away –

but still they clung
to the ghost of an image,
an imago phantasma,
chained inside their skull
and haunting
the attic of their mind,
rattling chains in omen
forever frightening away
the inquisitive…

mutter, mutter, mutter
if you could see me
when i am alone
you would say

“this is not a sane man”

speak out loud in the silence
it’s as if you are surrounded
and you repeat yourself
again and again and again
waiting for just one echo
to return from the darkness
where words and people
go to die

where are you?

we are
the predictable animals

whatever brings the most resources
thrives in our personal economy
whatever brings
foodshelterlovesexprotetction
wins in the end…always
whatever brings

m o n e y

we evolved to store up
we evolved to obsess
to be fat through the lean

we are
the predictable animals
enslaved to survival appetites
bound to serotonin
easy to manipulate
easy to control

and so
the most powerful
is not the one who has it all
the most powerful
is the one who can give the most
and take the reins
crying out

PANEN ET CIRCENSES!

FALL FAT AND DROWSY AT MY FEET
THAT I SHOULD BE YOUR LORD

there are shapes in fog
that you cannot see
by the full light of day

simple ghosts
they dance in the wheat
announcing the rising/setting sun
innocent of expiration
simply being

i go out to their coven
this witches’ autumn gathering
and run through
while their fingers
trace water on my skin
and i am wet
and i am familiar
with their presence
as i let them know me

i can take moments
and make them forever
pulled out of time

i will live in them
like a fish in a glass bowl
safe from passersby
consuming memories
like food from benevolent hands

i am a beggar
waiting to receive you

i see you
i don’t know you
there is mus(e)ic
i am soaring
there is music
i am in love
i don’t know what you believe
and i don’t care
this is a perfect moment
this is a thin space
forever

we drove into the hills in Tuscany
to while away the summer day
and found ourselves in Calci
small and crumbling stone
with stream running down
this was a quiet place
we numbered half the population
according to who we saw

there were the men
sitting outside the Communist Club
and i am reminded of the statue
the young antifascista martyr

we must see the church
surprise! the withered arm of Ermolao
i wonder if he misses it –
wherever he is now.

and here another day to Rome
and then to fabulous Firenza
and Lucca, and Pisa and Butti
a thousand thousand years
and back again to Vicopissano
and back again to olive groves
and back again to vineyards
in Tuscany where i got a speeding ticket
but it was ok (and maybe expected)

back to the villa once occupied by Nazis
ha! you never knew the son of a Jew
who would sleep here one day
when you were long and gone away
history mocks the evil with insignificance
but i am forever here now with my heart
and i am in love with her
in Tuscany