Manitoba Considers Removing Here-there-be-dragons Signs from Perimeter

here_there_be_dragons_trivet-re98ac31ce3664824ac5f90c9bcdc5933_zra4e_307Nov. 23, 2018 Winnipeg, MB. // In its recent throne speech the Progressive Conservative government announced its intention to research the implications of removing the Here There Be Dragons Warning Signs that meet every Winnipeg resident as they approach the perimeter highway.

While it has been common knowledge to city residents for generations that nothing but a terrifying and bleak, monster-filled wasteland exists past the perimeter highway beyond which is thought to be the edge of our disk shaped province, some heretical voices are suggesting otherwise.

“In recent years we have sent unpersoned exploratory drones into the great beyond and have seen tantalizing, albeit fuzzy, out-of-focus images of what appear to be farms, homes, small towns and even, possibly cities,” said Wayne McDonald, a scientist with the Ministry of Manitoba Outer-reaches. “We believe it is possible that a thriving, culturally diverse, economically dynamic landscape exists just beyond the Winnipeg Safe Zone bounded by the perimeter.

McDonald’s comments have been met with skepticism by many but the premier is said to be interested in the possibilities given the legends that his family migrated to the city in generations past from the outer-reaches.

“The prospect of confirming this Atlantis-of-the-prairies is indeed compelling,” said Premier Brian Pallister. “That and the potential growth of our taxpayer base cannot be overlooked.”

With the onset of winter however even the Ministry of Manitoba Outer-Reaches admits it would be folly to venture forth past the safety of the perimeter until the spring thaw at the earliest.

“Once we feel it is safe enough additional drones will be sent out in April followed by human led expiditions in May,” said McDonald. “Depending upon what we learn the signs could come down as early as July. ”

 

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