shame is the shadow I walk in

I wanna make it

easy for you to understand

I do…

it was hands in the dark

under sheets

u n w an t e d

year after year

it was the closing darkness

when you all were supposed to be light

when you all were supposed to be heroes

giving me the power of a new name

but all you left me was corrosive shame

like a lead blanket bearing me down

beneath a view of a cold and empty heaven

and I’m heavier than I should’ve been

and I’m less than I could’ve been

more scarred than I would’ve been

you took your stolen worth

and poured it on my head

like oil over a sacrifice to your lost innocence

but instead of recapturing it

you burned mine away

and there are days when I would kill you

but death came first;

this is the hate you carved into me

with your slicing finger knives

leaving me bleeding

on all the beauty I ever did see

and I don’t want any pathetic pity

I just want to make it easy,

easy for you to agree

that there were other monsters

that made the monster you may see

when you look deep into me

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