If I do This, Kill Me…

Over time I have been compiling a list of things, that, should I ever do said things, my loved ones have been instructed to shoot me.

  1. Get locked into a particular decade of music and just stop there
  2. Starting sentences with the phrase “in my day…”
  3. Tell strangers about how turmeric helps my achy joints
  4. Lose the ability to understand new technology
  5. When 40 percent or more of my diet becomes fibre
  6. Regularly wear socks with sandals
  7. Pull my pants/shorts waistline over my belly button
  8. When more than half of my conversations are about my ailments
  9. When I start competing with others about how much sicker I am than they are
  10. Go to the beach fully clothed in pants, shirt, socks, shoes, hat, coat etc.
  11. Say NO to every suggestion about literally anything
  12. Assume people younger than me are less intelligent than me

It’s a short list but growing every day…


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