I had dinner with good friend Steven tonight at a not-so-near Indian buffet. It was a pleasant dinner filled with laughter and of course much (too much) food was consumed.

Through the course of the meal Steven mentioned that I need to work on my patience. He has reminded me of this on many occasions and every time he has mentioned it he has been correct. It’s one of the things I appreciate about him…his courageous friendship. His willingness to get into the trenches and call me on the tough stuff. He is never mean or judgmental, simply matter of fact. “Pete,” he says, “you need to work on your patience.”

I have always respected his steadfast and resolute character. There is no bullshit in him and he has always been a model of concern for others as long as I have known him. Unconcerned about what people may think or say about him he simply forges through life and tries to be the best he can be. In that sense there is much I can learn from him.

My friends have always been gifts of one sort or another. Mike, who I have known now for 28 years has grown into an incredible man of faith. A man of deep integrity and character who is his father’s son.

Brenan is far away in Atlanta now but has always been the kind of friend to drop everything and come to see you. Selfless and giving he is someone I have always admired and while we do not see each other often ours is the kind of friendship that is the same regardless of temporal or geographic distance.

John is not so far away. He sees pain and seeks to heal whenever and wherever he can. A strong and compassionate listener he is always unquestionably there.

I am not an easy person to be friends with. I know this. I can take friendship for granted and go long stretches without calling or e-mailing and then suddenly turn up on your doorstep. Inconstant and overthinking I can be pretty annoying. Sometimes arrogant and egotistical and other times mopey and selfish and yet these and other friends persist. They are mentors in my life and remind me of a powerful verse:

John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

In their way all of my friends have laid down their lives for me in one sense or another. I greatly appreciate the above verse for the context within which we find it, John 15:9-17:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know their master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.”

Christ is not saying “obey me or suffer my wrath” nor is he saying “obey me or I will abandon you”. He says “obey me so that your joy may be complete.” I hope that my joy may one day be complete. In the mean time I have much to learn from my friends and I appreciate that they have all been good and patient teachers.