In each of us the instinct to run and hide is wired. It comes from a combination of things – how we are broken and living in a broken world reminds us that there are things to fear (though something within us tells us this is not the way things were meant to be); our own capacity for evil teaches us that others have that same capacity and it makes of wary and defensive, like antelope on the savannah we are ready to run at the slightest noise; our life experience also teach us that the world is a dangerous place and we lose trust in it and everything and everyone in it.
Sometimes though our instinct to hide is not about protecting ourselves but rather protecting others from ourselves. Take for instance the following verses from the gospel of Luke 5:1-8:
"While the crowd was pressing in on Jesus and listening to the word of God, he was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret. He saw two boats there alongside the lake; the fishermen had disembarked and were washing their nets. Getting into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, he asked him to put out a short distance from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch." Simon said in reply, "Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command I will lower the nets." When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing. They signaled to their partners in the other boat to come to help them. They came and filled both boats so that they were in danger of sinking. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at the knees of Jesus and said, "Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man."
I find it fitting that my namesake would seek to hide from Christ. Peter is not afraid of being hurt, Peter wants to hide because he knows the depth of his depravity and the one whom he speaks to. He feels radically unworthy to be anywhere near Jesus. Sometimes, like Peter, we hide from light. Sometimes we scurry like cockroaches when the light is turned on seeking the safety and anonymity of darkness. It is understandable, especially when we are confronted by people we love or care about and we are seeking to protect them from ourselves. With God however there is no dark place dark enough to hide. There is no filth within us that he has not seen and is not in some way intimately acquainted with. He knows us better than we know ourselves and his response to Peter’s attempts to hide from him and drive him away are the same to us:
"Do not be afraid," says Jesus in Luke 5:10. Then he bids the one who knows his sin and his unworthiness to leave everything behind and follow him. The one who knows the corrupt heart of Peter. The one who knows this man whom he loves will deny him three times and leave him alone on the cross. This one says "Do not be afraid but come, leave everything and follow me".
I am selfish. I am broken. I am hateful. I am ashamed. I am a liar and a deceiver. I think the worst of other people and myself. All I want to do is hide and stay away from people and in this state Christ came to me this morning at church (as he has through family and friends) and reminded me of the importance of fellowship among believers, of koinonia. In their many and various ways they spoke to me and said "do not be afraid".
But it is easy to run and hide. The words are powerful and healing but I am still who I was. I am still in the midst of my own brokeness and yet he calls anyway. I still want to hide. I still want to run. Still he persists and says "do not fear".
Harnessing Chaos 
Thanks Pete.
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