In the face of Grief
There’s a lot of loss swirling around me these days. There are deaths and divorces everywhere I turn it seems. Just a great deal of brokeness. Now of course I realize that as a pastor I see more than most folks in this area but nevertheless these days it seems like everyone is suffering to some degree.
My grandfather died when I was 19-years-old. It was hard but I got over it. We weren’t that close. In my life he was the closest person to me who has ever died. My sister died when I was 3 or 4. I really don’t remember it well. My step-father died this year but once again we were not really that close. I’ve never had a friend die. I’ve never had a close family member die. I’ve never even had a close acquaintence die. Death, it seems, has been busy in other folk’s lives and it saddens me to see the grief and the great sense of loss.
Divorce I’ve seen plenty. In my direct family alone there have been three. If you include aunts and uncles then easily a dozen divorces. Divorce is a form of death. Once two who have become one are broken by divorce, something new that God has created is killed. This is why there is so much grief and pain and anger with divorce. Why it shares so many of the same emotions with death.
I know a number of people are grieving these days and perhaps wondering at the goodness of God in these circumstances. What does God do when confronted with death? How does He respond to it?
In the gospel of John Jesus is confronted with the grief of friends over the death of another friend – Lazarus. His response in the face of grief leads us to the shortest sentance in the entire Bible – "Jesus wept" John 11:35. God is not disconnected from our grief but in the face of it He grieves with us. He weeps.
But we should understand this grief in context. John 11:17-35 says:
Upon meeting Jesus, Mary and Martha confront him with the words many of us would echo in the face of our own grief – "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." We would say "my mother, father, son, daughter, loved one". It is both an accusation and a truth. It cries out in grief "why did you not prevent this God?" God, in His mercy, does not condemn us for our grief but joins us in mourning death. But even as the accusation rings out the truth of the statement bears witness to our faith. The truth is that death flees in the face of God. Death has no power over Him. So when we cry out in grief and proclaim that this would not have happened had God been there we proclaim our faith in Him as Martha does when Christ asks her what she believes and she responds in her grief "I believe you are the Messiah, the Son of God who was to come into the world."
Ultimately this is the challenge that faces us as we grieve. Do we cry out in an angry empty faithless way and rail against the senselessness of death. Do we grieve, like Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4:13, like those who have no hope; or do we grieve like Mary? Do we grieve in the truth and certain hope of the ressurection and cry out to God the words of Martha as He weeps with us:
"I believe you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who was to come in to the world."
Harnessing Chaos 
Amen.
j
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