So I am sitting here reading a book by Donald Miller called To Own A Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father and listening to an intentionally selected list of "inspiring" mp3’s when for some reason I feel like I need to write about sin. Now this is not a normal urge I have so I thought I shouldn’t ignore it.

 

I periodically delve into this thing we call sin (which literally means to miss the mark, as though you were an archer) and wondering about its more than annoying persistence in our lives. I think these thoughts come when I actually get a glimpse of the reality of God in the world. Like reading Miller’s book while Bedouin Soundclash plays in the background and it is absolutly, perfectly still (except for the music). In moments like this God becomes unspeakably real to me in a way that shakes me. Now, for me, when this happens something in me begins to instantly feel inadequate and ashamed – something about being aware of the presence of God makes me want to hide…maybe its a son of Adam thing. God’s perfect presence makes me think about my imperfect presence. This is probably what steers me towards thoughts of sin and its nature.

 

I have thought about this a lot and really do wonder about what it is in us that causes us to intentionally want to hurt the ones we love. I mean – I can almost understand sin in the life of one who does not love God, or simply does not believe or does not care…but the continued sin in the lives of the faithful (myself included) is a real puzzler for me.

 

In many ways sin takes the love of God for granted. It is the son or daughter who can look their mum or dad directly in the eye and hear the most impassioned, concern-filled plea for them to not get drunk tonight or to not have sex before marriage, and then very casually lie and say they won’t. There is this deep-seated awareness within the child that mum and dad will NEVER stop loving them no matter what happens and so why not have fun? This is selfishness.

 

So what is this about? "God looks at us and says – hey – I love you this much…I know what is best for you because I created you. I never do anything that is not motivated by love. So trust me." We say "ok" and then instantly move into open rebellion.

 

One possible reason is that we are simply taking advantage of His grace. Paul recognized this in us and tried to pre-empt the argument by laying out the scenario ahead of time and warning us against taking advantage of God’s grace. But we are their to say – "look man, you just said that anyone who says they are without sin is a liar and that we wonder why we want to do the right thing but do the wrong instead" so why even bother. It is a losing battle. We use our nature as an excuse to continue in it – as though we never died to sin in the first place. As though we were never raised to new life with Christ when we rose up out of the water.

 

Another possible, more frightening reason this continues to happen, is a lapse into faithlessness. We act as though God is not there. As though His Spirit is not within us. As though we could get away with it. As though there were no consequences to our actions.

 

Sometimes our love is weak and fails us in the face of temptation. In these moments, trust needs to take over. We need to trust God in the face of the smallest temptations because this impacts us in the face of the biggest temptations. Stepping away from pornography impacts a decision one day to not cheat on your spouse – because God is proven faithful in these moments and we are strengthened through them.

 

I know sin will always be there because it is in our nature. We are broken and will not be fully restored this side of the grave. Still, we are called to respond to the love of God in Christ with love of our own that motivates us to fight every urge to sin…and to recognize that we are forgiven and get back up when we fall – all at the same time.

 

So if our strength to fight temptation in our lives comes from a loving relationship with God then we must continue to cultivate that relationship. God’s love for us will always be there, it will never change…what must happen is a continual deepening of our love for Him…

 

I recognize that I am rambling at this point…I will come back to these thoughts and organize them better. I am not content to simply accept sin simply because it is part of my nature…or worse still – because of bored, lazy apathy.