The men in my life
found me a fertile field
to dig for their lost innocense
so they carved out mine
like blood diamonds
with their bladed hands
and left me a walking, gaping wound
a living unlit canyon
shaped like a lost child

i have tried to fill that wound
with all of the good and all of the evil
i could get my shaking hands on
with god and the devil and everything between
but they were as empty as the void within;
i’ve asked friends and family,
i’ve asked lovers and enemies,
to stand a watch within my heart
but the burden is too great
to place on any shoulder,
to place within a loving soul
and now i find myself at a crossroads
seeking a source to undo this void
and i would lift my voice in petition
except the vacuum without
is as the vacuum within
airless and without a sound
not even an echo to return my voice to me

but i will persist,
a hollow man
ready for a fertile soil
that i might grow green again
and you will know me
by the blossoms that burst forth
watered by my ocean blue eyes
that draw you near –
something irresistable,
a loving strength
renewed.