Blue sky cold

Sunlight like pale egg yolk;

It is an empty day

Made of old thoughts

Ready for recycling

And I am lose collection of yarn

Pulled on the floor

For claws and tugging teeth

To drag me into the shadows

Until i come forth again

A golden beam of sun

Stretched like a cat

Across the floor

Warm and content

We used to dress up mannequins

And sit them on thrones

That we could speak to

That we could cry to

That we could ask favors of

From time to time

And I imagined i could hear a voice

That sounded suspiciously like mine

But it is silent now

And the figure became bones

Long ago

So we sit in the quiet now

And dress in their clothes

Left they fade and fall to waste

But I must admit

They are still to big for me

You’ll find me laughing

In the second circle of hell

Being tossed by the tempest

Rendered dry by the inferno

That powers the screaming winds

Like dust on the summer’s air

The difference is

It ate me alive

From the inside out

With corrosive guilt

It tore holes in my soul

And left me threadbare,

To have been this human grenade

Exploded and shredding lives

As if i was the only thing that mattered

And the world could die for all I cared

The distinction is a thin one

But it lets me face myself in the mirror

At the end of the day, with the knowledge

That something still beats in this chest

With empathy and compassion…

i saw a man on the news
he was standing on a cliff
watching his home
slip into the ocean
and disappear

everything he had built
everything he loved
all of his dreams
all of his hopes
past, present and future
vanished beneath the waves
as he sat helplessly
and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do

In the night

When it’s at its worst

I’ve come to realize

There is no bottom

No place to land

To climb up from

You just keep falling

Into the crushing black

With no one to catch you

Only spectators

Merry Christmas.

A season with many different meanings depending on who you are but there are many themes shared in common.

Christmas is a time that reminds us of all we have and all we have been given.  All of the people, all of the love, the benefits of home and happiness… for some.

For others, it can be a reminder of all they have lost or all they do not have… children,  family, friends, home, happiness.

I am grateful for all I have. I mourn for those who have lost the things I have.

Protect your blessings… hold them tight for as long as you have them and know that some are not so fortunate.

Consider the gifts that surround you… do not take them for granted. May this Christmas be a time of gratitude for you.

The face of the world

Slides away

Like icing

On a too warm cake

A tragedy of goodness

Lost to elements

Beyond its control

Find your golden glow

Consume it with gusto

Dive into it

Sing songs about it

And cry tears made from it

Make it a part of you

Until you no longer recognize yourself

And in the end

Fall asleep with it

In your arms

In your veins

In your lungs

Breathe it in

Breathe it out

As your last breath.

We went shopping once

For a family pet

And i kept saying

“Let’s get a Saint Bernard

Let’s get an Irish Wolfhound

Or a Great Dane

Or maybe a real wolf”

And my stepfather said

“Listen Peter and remember this,

Big dogs die young,

They come and they go

And they break your fucking heart,

So no big dogs… never a big dog“

And in the end

We didn’t get anything

Which was usual.