No matter

How far down I go

That water pulls me back

Up up up

Until I break the surface tension

And push through to bright day

Where I can float weightless

With the sun-filled sky above me

For the body is buoyant

And wants to rise

One jumps in

And begins to descend

Each stroke a choice

Deeper into the abyss

And it gets darker

And it gets colder

Until you feel crushed

Like death is near

These are the pressures of diving

That seek to hug you tight

And never let go

A claustrophobia

Worn like a suit –

Skin tight.

I am the rising sun

I am the swelling tide

I am the scent after rain;

I am the honeyed one

That glows inside

And takes away pain;

Hold on, it’s time for fun,

It’s time for the ride,

It’s time to go insane;

Let us now sit still in silence

That I might make recompense

For all that has been and ever will be

Have you ever held a hand?

There is the first-time fever

That heart-pounding

That breath holding

That life stopping moment

And you know when you let go

There is still touch

Across space

Across time

It tingles.

There is sun somewhere

Even up above the clouds

Light is always there

the work it takes to hate
is an effort I cannot bear
the weight of it is too great
a lonely journey
along a path one cannot share
to take a scalpel
and surgically remove
every good thing
leaving only the cancer
will kill a person in the end
like carving out pieces of brain
to forget the best days
as if they never happened
an oddly hopeful lobotomy
leaving one cold and senseless in the end

Kitty is a ghost
silent she lands in the bed
hidden in the dark

the leaves cling to the trees
resisting autumn’s attempts
to tear them fiercely free;
it’s as if they know
their time is coming
and they cannot bear to part
with all that they have known
and fall without comfort,
drifting to endless oblivion
and the frightening unknown

the wind carries the earth
far and away to new lands
it lifts it high into the air
and takes it without warning
captive in its howling breath;
what a journey to be stolen
and howled across the world
to be deposited in new places
surrounded by new faces
a traveler stolen into the skies
never to return again.

i made a sun
and hung it in my sky
banishing the dark
in favour of something more pleasant
for my ever searching eye

i made a moon
to place above my head
a small silver sphere
i could see from the safety of my bed

i made a world
filled with ever-present hope
a space of comfort
a kind of proud accomplishment
that would help us better cope
with the unmade, and the unreal
that took on flesh inside my mind
three gems of gold and argent and green
with which i was able to bind
every dark and sinister shadow
that threatened to leap forth
are now small, now forgotten, fragile things
that beneath my feet i grind.