I can hear
The sounds of the surf
Waves crashing upon the earth
Wearing it down
Through the night
Year after year
Persistence in motion

Or maybe
It’s simply the traffic
Endlessly churning past
On Steeles Avenue
Doing the same thing
To the bedrock of my mind
Turning it to sand

Either way
It helps me sleep

sometimes
as i lay in the dark
beneath a blacker cloud
the moon slips her harbour
and comes to earth
to bring me silver lights
amidst my sleepless nights
a naked beauty of beneficence
singing of the coming dawn
and her notes weave as sutures
holding together my torn heart
keeping it from flying apart
in a rare and hope-filled embrace

if they choose the bear
there’s something wrong with us
not them

if they choose to fear
and you wonder at the fuss
and condemn

step away
step away
leave the fray
let them alone
to sing in the day
until you find a way
to be human, safe and ok.

they take you
they beat you
they mark you
imprison you

they kill mother
they kill father
and sister, and aunt
and uncle
and beautiful
and bright
and new
little baby
little brother

they gas you
they burn you
they use your ashes
to feed their fields
their rivers and swamps
they bury you
try to erase you
they hate you
for
just
being
you
as you survive
to spite them all

and then

they have the balls
to call you the monster
and wonder why
you get so defensive
when you’re screaming PTSD
made manifest in the world
carrying the weight
of a million would have beens
bourne bloody on your back
and into the future
a weight that cannot be shed