i am lying in the space
between awake and asleep
staring at other worlds
just beyond the rippling surface
and i am paralyzed
like a man before drowning

this terrible lucid state
where i fear i can look in on the others

or worse

they can look in on me.

why do i find this stomach churning,
this heaving pitch at the edge of the cliff
looking down?

i am apart, and i am looking,
watching through stranger’s eyes;
and when i escape
there is sickness in my core
having seen what i had never seen before
lives beyond my own that i must endure.