the star

collapses into itself

under immense pressure

until it explodes in death

and leaves beauty

as evidence

that it once was

anxiety is an airplane

without landing gear;

and you’ll be ok

if you just keep it in the air

and try to fly forever

with only exhaustion

as your copilot

and I will hold my breath

the whole damn time

pretending everything

will be just fine

a speck
in the face
of the infinite
is still something
screaming
in the vast
nothing
declaring
that once
there was
something
and so
forever
it will be
and so
always
a monument
to what was
to what is
to what will be

this is hope

i see in blue, sometimes
and the world is a shallow lake
to comfortably drown in

i see in grey, sometimes
and the world is a deep ocean
cold and crushing in the dark

i see in orange, sometimes
and the world is the blazing sun
that burns the waters away

i see in red, sometimes
and the world is empty Mars
impotent anger beneath blood skies

but

sometimes i see in green
and life is lush and urgent
a fertile and consuming heart

life is a prism
that splits and scatters
until i am pieces against a wall