Warrior Wife

My wife is a warrior…but not the obvious kind that comes screaming at you with sword aloft. My wife is a quiet warrior.

For almost eight weeks now Megan has been confined entirely to bed. You likely don’t know this because she does not like to “place her burdens on others”. She has what the MRI describes as a “extremely bulging disc at L5/S1 (very low back.

It happened gradually. She has been having some level of back pain and sciatica for about three years now. It progressively got worse and now she cannot walk without immeasurable agony.

I cannot fathom her pain and I cannot fathom her confinement. She doesn’t complain. She does her best to maintain a positive outlook and frankly I think a lot of that is so that myself and others who are close to her are not worried.

The medical profession has relegated her to pain relieving medications that really do not work that well. There is a referal to a spinal specialist in Winnipeg but that happened just before Covid when there was a six month wait. We’re not sure how long it will be now. Also we’re not sure how she is supposed to get there given her immobility.

My wife is a warrior. She is quietly determined to see this through and beat it. She does what small amout of exercise she can from bed. She frets about me and the things she wishes she could help out with.

When i dumped some laundry on the bed she wanted to help me fold it.

Being stuck in bed is not the vacation I always imagined it would be.

It is difficult not being able to do anything to fix this for her. I am a fixer. Annoyingly so. I see a problem and I want to intervene and solve it. I almost cannot help it. I hate to see pepole in pain.

My wife is a warrior. I could never go through what she is going through with the grace she does. I am a whiner. I would be an awful chore to take care of. She is a treat.

My heart aches for her and her pain. Her family has been incredible at helping out. They are truly the embodiment of what it means to be a blessing.

She will not be thrilled I am writing this. She is very private with her pain. I, on the other hand, come from a family of loudmouths. We scream out our pain for all the world and in this I cannot help but broadcast hers. She will forgive me. I know this. She expects these sorts of things from me by now.

My wife is a warrior and I could only live so long as to be like her. I admire literally everything about her.

I don’t know how long this will last. Every bit of research you read tells you something different. I do know she will get through it and come out stronger. I see her determination even in the very dark times when it seems like this will be endless…there is still that spark.

My wife is a warrior. My wife is a joy bringer. She is peaceful and kind and somehow contains boundless empathy. I love her dearly and hate her pain more than anything.

But, in the end I know she will get through this because –

My wife is a warrior.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.