somebody spilled a darker blue
across the white-washed streets
as if a violent storm crashed in
to spray the world in yellow light
low and from the waning west
leaving negatives of the standing,
lying flat upon the grasping ground

the sun is a train’s ice-white light
breaking frozen on the horizon
threatening to run us all down
while we bow blind before it
between the silvered, snowy rails

once
i was quiet for so long
i forgot how to speak
no words poured forth
just a dry, waterfall cliff;
a place where ravens roost
as wing-ed witnesses
with eyes of silent celebration
with eyes of silent condemnation
’til with sudden, un-gagged flight
they broke babbling forth to the world
as pieces of black shadow

I was listening to the rebellious CBC Radio this morning and they were talking about the similarities between the racist system of apartheid in South Africa and the historical treatment of First Nations people in Canada. Specifically they had Linda Freeman, a professor of politics and African studies at Carleton University and author of The Ambiguous Champion – Canada and South Africa in the Trudeau and Mulroney Years as guest.

Freeman spoke of a time when the government of South Africa was in the early stages of setting up the system of apartheid; a time when Canada hosted South African officials who were interested in understanding our own democratic system of government that created and allowed the reservation system.

On its website CBC references Shannon Thunderbird, a First Nations elder, educator, speaker, poet and singer and her thoughts on Canada’s recent voice against apartheid.

“It is ironic because the Canadian Indian Act formed much of the basis for the oppressive apartheid policies in South Africa,” Thunderbird told the CBC. “It’s kind of an understood custom and practice that Canada’s Indian Act came to be known as the acceptable role model for apartheid policies…”

CBC goes on to say on its website “Thunderbird said the Indian Act served as the blueprint on how to oppress a people within a democratic system. “It’s actually hypocrisy for Canada to stand forward as a kind of bulwark of protest against atrocities going on in other countries while at the same time we turn a blind eye to our own people,” she said.”

As a Canadian and former university student in the late 80’s involved in anti-apartheid activities, it never occurred to me that something similar has been perpetrated in our own country and culture. I think that we become blind to our own racism and often focus our eyes on the sins of others as a way of ignoring our own issues and distracting ourselves from ourselves.

There are significant differences of course – in South Africa the white 5 percent of the population unjustly made up the ruling class while our segregation is primarily enforced through entrenched poverty, although law plays no small role.

In the wake of Nelson Mandela’s death, as we collectively ponder the systematic racism and abuse of apartheid we might do ourselves, our nation and our First Nations a service by turning our eyes inward and considering where we might make changes toward a more equal society. It is difficult for Canada to remain a champion and leader in human rights globally when we have some significant problems here at home, and it is at home where our efforts need to focused.

When I was a pastor a number of years ago I led 23 youth on a mission trip to Tijuana, Mexico. It was a powerful experience and I have no doubt our group contributed positively to the local population. But one of the things that nagged at me then and continues to even now, was why we chose the sunny tropics for our mission effort rather than our own country which has many impoverished communities in desperate need of a little assistance. To put it more succinctly – why do we leave?

While I do not doubt the value of the tropical mission trip/vacation to the communities who receive Canadian teams I wonder at why these teams are not flying north instead of south…my cynical side thinks it knows the answer.

By the same token, should we choose to train our resources and efforts, be they missional or otherwise, on our own country, our own First Nations, how do we do so while avoiding the sin of become patronizing superiors desiring to assist the unfortunate inferior? I think perhaps by entering into partnerships with our neighbours; seeking to be invited into communities where we might exchange ideas and know-how rather than entering as the “great white hope”.

There are no easy answers but there is a first step that could be taken and in so doing perhaps a great, healing and reconciling journey can begin.

Because I am a Level 1, Grade A troll this is exactly the same post as below but with a different headline:

“The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true.” -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

This quote sums up how I feel about Christianity.

A Facebook friend of mine posted an insightful article about the faith today and it had me thinking and replying with this quote which instantly came to mind as I tried to compare how being Christian is a lot like walking a tightrope between carefully following the rules and throwing them all away. It’s a quote that gets across the “in the world but not of the world” and “narrow way” sentiments etc. The quote sums up how many within the Christian quest feel (or should) and within the context of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic work also gets across the reality that the bulk of the world either is unaware of the task underway, does not care or does not believe.

To be true does not necessarily mean to be true to the rules (although sometimes you need to be) or to be true to the world around you (although sometimes this is necessary as well) but rather to be true to the quest at hand – to keep moving through it all regardless of the falls and failures and fumbles we perpetrate along the way…our task is to keep moving forward.To remain alive in the truest human sense of the word as it has been modeled for us.

I did a little research and appreciated the following dialogue that took place between Tolkien and family friend Father Robert Murray after he had read the books prior to publication. I believe it lends credence to my juxtaposing the above quote with Christianity as I have:

…Despite this apparent absence of Christian religion, Tolkien himself attested to the profound influence that his Catholic Christian faith had on his works of fiction. Late in 1953 Father Robert Murray, a close friend of the Tolkien family, read The Lord of the Rings shortly before it was published, and wrote a letter to Tolkien in which he compared the image of Queen Galadriel to the Virgin Mary. Tolkien wrote back, saying that he agreed that the comparison was apt: “I think I know exactly what you mean . . . by your references to Our Lady, upon which all my own small perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded. The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision.”

Milan was
was Duomo doors
bold, dark against the square
a grand and public dare

Milan was
was Galleria looking back
glass and contempt/consumption
that wasted the world
a dazzling consumption

Milan was
was fashion and fabulous
a frenzied state of (un)grace
beautiful Italians, beautiful Romans
smoking in the open air

Milan was
was garbage strewn everywhere
was needles in the grass
and filth in the small shops
a confluence of every thing
a grand presentation

Milan was
was in the younger past
is gone but still there…
somewhere
a golden broken heart
beating beauty out of the world

…Or rather I should say this quote (coming soon below so be patient) sums up how I feel about Christianity.

“The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true.” -Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

A Facebook friend of mine posted an insightful article about the faith today and it had me thinking and replying with this quote which instantly came to mind as I tried to compare how being Christian is a lot like walking a tightrope between carefully following the rules and throwing them all away. It’s a quote that gets across the “in the world but not of the world” and “narrow way” sentiments etc. The quote sums up how many within the Christian quest feel (or should) and within the context of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic work also gets across the reality that the bulk of the world either is unaware of the task underway, does not care or does not believe.

To be true does not necessarily mean to be true to the rules (although sometimes you need to be) or to be true to the world around you (although sometimes this is necessary as well) but rather to be true to the quest at hand – to keep moving through it all regardless of the falls and failures and fumbles we perpetrate along the way…our task is to keep moving forward.To remain alive in the truest human sense of the word as it has been modeled for us.

I did a little research and appreciated the following dialogue that took place between Tolkien and family friend Father Robert Murray after he had read the books prior to publication. I believe it lends credence to my juxtaposing the above quote with Christianity as I have:

…Despite this apparent absence of Christian religion, Tolkien himself attested to the profound influence that his Catholic Christian faith had on his works of fiction. Late in 1953 Father Robert Murray, a close friend of the Tolkien family, read The Lord of the Rings shortly before it was published, and wrote a letter to Tolkien in which he compared the image of Queen Galadriel to the Virgin Mary. Tolkien wrote back, saying that he agreed that the comparison was apt: “I think I know exactly what you mean . . . by your references to Our Lady, upon which all my own small perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded. The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision.”

As with many of my posts I need to post a disclaimer at the beginning to ward off unwarranted speculation. This post is about no one in particular and is not in any way regarding a recent circumstance – rather just observation. Or if you’d prefer, the following applies:

“Any resemblance to real persons, living, dead,or undead is purely coincidental.”

Now to the meat of the matter.

I have never understood people who seem to need to inflict pain on others in order to lessen or mute their own pain. I have run into this on many occasions in my own experience and through the experiences of others and it boggles my mind.

I have thought about this off and on for a long time and I have yet to come close to understanding how creating pain in another’s life reduces the pain in the one who is inflicting it. Psychologically this kind of mindset is most close to the serial killer and maybe it is on the same spectrum (although obviously not near as horrific).

The reality of the circumstance is that the pain you casue always comes back to you, always. Whatever psychological illusion of peace it brings to a person for a limited time is just that – an illusion, bound to be washed away and replaced by regret, shame and even greater rage.

In the end there is nothing good about it and it boggles my mind.

CALLING ALL WRITERS: Ok – if you (or someone you know that you can share this to) is one of the countless shy, closet poets/fiction writers out there living in the Pembina Valley region I want to meet you. Nothing formal – I would like to get whoever is out there together over a beer or a beverage of your choice (that you pay for)  for a VERY informal hello and discussion of possibly getting together again and maaaaaybe formalizing something like a local writers group/guild or the like so that we might leverage each other’s experience and connections or just to know that you aren’t the only writer out there. Email me at cantelon@gmail.com

i thought the past was a shadow
engraved by the brightness of today’s sun
a following friend with old stories
but
what if today is the shade
and i
i am a shadow cast
by my atomic burst yesterdays
like an echo of something stronger
fading forward