This cave – my mind
is cluttered from over use
scattered with evidence
of a hidden life

there are shadows
telling tales of reality
that aren’t enough,
not anymore

it has grown stale
with fumes of fear
rank with rust and rot
like blood left out

time now for air
for fresh, bright light
and evidence of a spirit
lifted toward Heaven

So I spent much of this weekend at the Canadian Fossil Discovery Centre booth at Morden’s Corn & Apple Festival (which was remarkably great this weekend). I am exhausted with the combination of the busiest parenting weekend of the year and the busiest weekend of the year for work but somehow it all came together very well.

Our booth was situated somewhere between the Creationism booth and the Humanist, Atheist, Agnostics of Manitoba booth. It was apt because I feel I am somewhat personally situated between these extremes as well. 

I am pleased to have made friends at both booths and thankful that we can differ but still find ways to engage in thoughtful, respectful dialogue.I wish this were always the case but too often we become demons in the eyes of people we believe are demons when we are all products of a broken world struggling to make sense of things without going insane.

After spending time getting to know people whose views are diametrically opposed I have become even more convinced that we (people that is) spend far too much time in personal conflict while the world burns around us.

To hate is to be guilty of murder says Christ and I find I am ashamed at how many people I have killed in my life.

We are like members of the same army who have been slyly pit against one-another by a clever enemy to a point where we exert all our efforts at trying to gossip, hate, lie, cheat, shun and otherwise become sadly distracted from the things which are far more important – loving, unified community…anything else is destructive.

the lead
we let it
let it shred
through them
through the head
watch them
fall
let the bombs
tear them
tear them apart
stop
stop their heart
this is war
taken to art
but do not use gas
it is
it is so crass
you go too far
nor nukes
bright
bright as star
kill with grace
we say
but kill just the same
kill
kill in a humane way
they said
but dead
dead is dead

do you know
that heat and heart
they are the same
as coal and hearth
there is fire inside
pour it out in kiss
embrace in flames
burn one-another alive

truth stood still
offering bloody embrace
while empire
ached for answers
to save it from itself
but heard only
“I am”
in response

every line
a torrent
of black ink tears
bursting from
this torn heart
bleeding to life

loveliest is the light
in the lengthening shadows
sending messages
that beauty swings
to a tune of black and white
a song that sings
yours is the gray
to take by the hand
a doppleganger
a golem
a shade
to hold tight in love
to move with
to sway

she said
“ithinkyourpoetryissadofakillingkind”

and i said

“itsnotminebutsomeotherswordsthatspillout
likegutsspillingfromatornbelly”

and she said

“therelikethatmustyoubesohorribleyouscare
awaytheonesinthecornersnearestyou”

and i said

“ilovethelightandfragranceoflifegivingflowers
butthosewordsarekeptsafewithinyouseeitis
theposionthatmustoutforitsofthatkillingkind
thatrunstogetherlikeablackthatbleedsforth”

and she said

“ohmyloveiunderstandnowandiprayyourword
bealwaysblackestthatthedawnremainswithin
toenliventheheartthatbeatssodearbeneaththosebones”

to which i said

“theywilltheywillthereisenoughforalifetimeortwo”

and we laughed and laughed while i bled

what monster are you
walking on two legs
what horror with hands
holds tight to the heart
singing sweet songs
feeding toothed rocks
with hapless flesh
what monster in a suit
trails dark beneath
black polished shoes
what monster
have you chosen to be
a killer with ice-edged words
or a suffocator
spilling sweetness
like salt water in the lungs
what monster are you
the worst perhaps
the one who has forgotten
they breathe monstrosity
like a killing cancerous air

sometimes
it is necessary
to eat the world whole
to consume
to
take it all in
like Atlas looking up
then
with it on the inside
you are everything