So it is no secret I always loved preaching.
I was having a conversation about preaching over lunch with an old friend and pastor the other day and we were talking about how personal one should get when preaching. I always tried to marry personal experience with the Biblical narrative to add to the relevance in the lives of people who were listening.
Anyhow my friend said something very interesting which bothered me at first but as I have had time to ruminate on it I believe he is quite right. He said we should not presume to present people with our own pain without first receiving their permission. Another way to express it is to say we should not dump our crap on people, regardless of the reason, if they have not expressed a desire to bear it in the first place.
What bothered me about it initially is that I have, in the guise of trying to be vulnerable, allowed aspects of past pain to enter into my preaching. It had not occurred to me before that, while this may serve as a great way to appear as human as the rest of the congregation it is something of an abuse of the position behind the pulpit.
Case in point – a while back I heard a sermon series by Andy Stanley, the pastor of North Point Church in Atlanta. At a certain point Stanley talks about divorce. Interestingly, despite his parents going through a VERY public divorce (his father is celebrated pastor Charles Stanley) he never actually brings it up. I always wondered about that until this recent conversation with my friend.
Now while I am sure Stanley’s own personal experience with divorce no doubt informed his preaching he never presumed upon the congregation by allowing it to enter into the narrative.
I greatly appreciate this word of advice from my friend and I wonder if it applies to other areas of life as well. I wonder if when we enter into a friend’s life via any number of venues like over a meal, coffee, facebook, etc. we should not necessarily presume that said friend wants to bear the weight of our problems until they have offered to.
It really has been turning around in my mind a lot. I find the whole subject to be quite sharpening.
Harnessing Chaos 
That’s interesting Peter, and i agree as well. Thinking about it, another reason to becareful, especially with our own stories of vulnerability, is that they hold the very really possibility of overshadowing the entire sermon. causing people only to remember our story rather than Christ’s.
I have been thinking about this in the context of pastoral visitation (where I am very careful not to turn the conversation to me and my needs) but reading this reminds me that preaching needs to be treated with the same consideration.
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Another good scenario to consider. Visitation knocked about in my head as well…surely the sign of a good piece of advice is the universal application it seems to have.
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