there’s a sadness here in this place,
it makes you feel a depth of dismal disgrace
like the darkness that moves ‘cross your face
and we go where we go to our hiding place

well,

don’t want to preach about this thing
no, no, never really helped the soul to sing
lost my voice not much more i can bring
here’s my heart given as a freewill offering

so it’s black sometimes in this cracked ever-night
but if we dig in the strangest spots sometimes there’s light

may it find us in the tectonic shifting of our sleep
lead us forth from the pain drenched cold deep
lift us from the frozen wastes that chill to the bone
teach us we’re never so alone as when we are alone

but we are not alone
no never never never alone

the sun is behind us
casting a long defining shadow
the image of i
is a featureless imprint all aglow

grey stones with names
are row upon row upon row
like cradle after cradle
in the maternity ward
or desk after desk after desk
in an elementary way
or cubicle after cubicle
a workspace prevents wandering
or home after home after home
comfort in neighbours and boxes

a journey from box to box to box

blessed is the star that rises in the day
that shines through mist and grey
like an eye above and beyond it all
winking with unknown knowledge
a watcher in the heavenly vault
a wanderer, a vagabond brilliance

brightheart in the airy kingdom
dreams of the earthbound
sighs with thoughts of gravity
wishing weight upon itself

such a strange reality we own
where shadows desire life in light
and songs seek bliss in silence

the crowded lives look for escape
while the lonely strive for pressed flesh

it is all incomplete
it is all

inhuman

little fires burn
throughout the whole
small polluting pits
of ash and ache
black insatiable hunger
make the ever-world
dark shadow of itself

if only the trees would die
then no wood to consume
no fuel for the flames
no air, no nothing at all
pure, acid-rain clear

but what of the hands
that toss the branches?
no one ever saw a log
throw itself to oblivion

no not once…

[mass noun]

• casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people

– betrays a confidence

– separates close friends

– like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts

– Without wood a fire goes out…

– They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice…

– For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander…

it is numbing –
like naked in ice water;
these days, these days

the voice is lost
a dream voice spoken
on the edge of sleep
spewing nonsense
to the listener’s laughter

there is no code here
no hidden truth
no lingering lie buried in bedrock

there is really nothing
a string of wandering words
staggering in a desert of confusion
seeking beauty
love-longing and languishing

I am notoriously bad with the follow through on all sorts of things but this does not mean I don’t understand its importance. The follow through is almost an after thought for a lot of people but it makes all the difference in the world between the just adequate and the great.

Ask any baseball pitcher or batter, ask a basketball free throw star, ask a golfer like Tiger Woods – the follow through is the difference between a hit and a miss.

The strange thing about the follow through is that it is, by definition, what happens after the primary action or the hard work but somehow it directly impacts it. It is the future impacting the present impacting the future.

As a fairly poor golfer I have struggled to work on my follow through. In order to ensure my swing continues on its natural arc past the point of hitting the ball to the place where it will come to a solid conclusion I actually have to be thinking about that before any of the action begins. I have to focus on the follow through before any motion starts otherwise all I am thinking about is hitting the ball which means I will likely hook or slice it because, once hit, I lose interest and stop my natural momentum ahead of time eager to move on.

Being committed to the follow through means trusting that your commitment to the future will shape your present in a positive way. In golf this means never looking up after hitting the ball. In fact it means not even thinking about looking up after hitting the ball – all you want to do is keep staring at that spot where the ball used to be while your body completes its swing and trusting the ball to do its thing. If you even think of looking up your body makes subconscious changes preparing for that motion which throws your entire swing off and screws up the whole shot.

I think a lot of things in life work the same way. In order to ensure success in the present you really have to commit to the follow through. You have to know the natural path your actions will take and commit to that future. Doing so shapes your present.

How many of us are focused so much on trying to get the moment right that we pay no attention to the follow through; where we are going? What is the natural trajectory of your goals and desires? Are you thinking about that end or just wondering about the mechanics of the now?

It makes all the difference in the world. Trust me.

whose dark is this that steals in
that winds its way beneath this black
sets edge to grinding teeth
sets shiver to this dead skin

whose broken handed heart
cannot be held or hold no more

long withered
long still
long without will to restore
no place to play a part

whose dried up courage fails
like the myth of once felt strength
like a rope
like a cord
like a no-edged sword
of anguished inadequate length

no one that i know.

shhhhhhhhh…

nothing but night
buzzing in the ears
just a high-tension wire of evening
coursing through the air
like a cicada in the heat

it is the cosmic background radiation
that says there’s still life to be had
that says –

it ain’t over till it’s over…

what does it mean
to pray in your dreams?
to find yourself calling out
in your sleep…

what does it mean
to look out the window
and see silver grey blue
eternal twilight?

is it a fearful thing?
a moment of grace?
or is it your very breath
groaning on your behalf?

whatever it is
when you awake –
you awake to prayer
words of worship whispered