I sometimes wonder if God is directing my reading because virtually everything I read speaks in some way or other to the circumstance I am in at any given time. It is probably some personal form of the hermeneutic spiral in action in which my life feeds my reading which in turn interprets my life which in turn further interprets and deepens my reading etc. etc.

 

I am reading Barth for Armchair Theologians (which is a polite way of saying Barth for Idiots) and am finding this overview of his life and theology incredibly profound. Here is a thought from Barth on the church as an agent of Grace. Before the quote comes an intro from the book’s author John R. Franke:

 

"While the church is the instrument of God’s grace in the world as a visible and historical institution, this does not in any way imply that the church has any control over the dispensation of grace in the world. This perogative belongs to God and to God alone. Grace constitutes God’s claim on humanity, and this understanding cannot be reversed, or grace becomes something that enters into human control and as such is no longer grace. Hence, neither the church nor any individuals in the church have a claim on the grace of God."

 

Now for Barth:

 

"The splendour of the church can consist only in its hearing in poverty the Word of the eternally rich God, and making that Word heard by human beings. The Church does not control that Word as earthly beings can be controlled. Nor does the church possess the Word as material or intellectual goods are normally possessed. Nor does the church take the Word for granted as it would count on something which was not a gift."

 

Finally more commentary by Franke:

 

"Thus from Barth’s perspective, the four marks of unity, holiness, catholicity, and apostolicity are not given to the church such that they become a part of its constituent nature. Instead, they are always to be understood as properties of God’s action by which He brings the church into existence moment by moment."

 

I am fell

fell foul from most high

wanderer now

beneath once diamond sky

fell foul from true

toward baser things

stood once amidst the azure blue

now gone with voice

caught dark in throat and raspy rings

hollow falls the foot

that walks across the burnt out plain

black is the mind that learns the truth

better to be ruled then to reign

 

The more sermons I prepare the more unprepared I feel to speak to people about God. Every time I write a sermon I feel more and more uncertain and yet I’m still doing it. This is a good thing I suppose. There really is nothing like it…preaching; it is frightening and exhilarating and I am really trying to get out of the way and let His word be heard. Still…it is a disconcerting thing to speak about that which you feel you know less and less. Particularly since the trick to confident public speaking is talking about what you know.

 

I know nothing of God.

 

Less and less each day.

 

How is it that there is even a calling to present the unfathomable infinite God to finite people in human language that cannot begin to scratch the surface of who He is? Yet the calling is there nonetheless and I have to trust that He knows what He’s doing when He asks us to do these things.

 

I worry sometimes that the hypocrisy will shine through like a spotlight in my sermons. Many people see truth for what it is. They see truth in fragments in themselves and others; they see truth in the world and through truth they see God and communicate these truths about God to others. Some of us see truth in its absence. I think I am that way. I see the absence of truth and know that by its very absence it must exist. I look into myself and see all that I am not and know therefore all that God wants me to be – then I present that to others…in poems, in sermons, etc.

 

Well – I am getting too philosophical for my own good. It must be late and I must be tired. Thanks for listening. 🙂

 

I would have pulled the sword

and struck off that ear

then I would have run and hid

I know

I know

My water walk would have

ended waist deep in desperation

while my denial

would not have stopped with three

but three times three times three

ad nauseum ad infinito

 

if you are my heart then beat

if you are my light then shine

if you are my life then breathe

if you are my song then sing

 

i am scarce

be my abundance

 

 

So I have been having thoughts on volunteerism for months now ever since a mentor challenged me (intentionally or unintentionally I do not know) about the nature of asking other people to do stuff for you. It has come to a head this morning because my thoughts regarding volunteers have gone to a dark place and I decided to actively reflect on my mentor’s challenge.

 

You see as a pastor asking people to do stuff for you with no expectation of reward is a little like breathing…it seems to be the primary focus of your life and job. I need to tell you a secret though (no doubt poorly kept) – I hate asking people to volunteer for stuff. I absolutely cannot stand it. First – people are busy. How do I know this? I am busy and I am people – therefore people are busy. Second – I fear that I will become bitter and cynical because the more people I ask to do stuff the more people will say no.

 

At any rate the cynicism was beginning to build and I rapidly moved into judgement mode as I began to look for Bible verses that suited my need to guilt people out of what I perceived as spiritual apathy and into hardcore God-mode (which in my world looks like youth sponsor or quizzing coach). This is where the mentor stepped in (as they usually do when you least want them to) and asked me a question.

 

MENTOR– "Peter, how many hours do you put in at work?"

PETER – "It varies a little but on average between 42-48 hours"

MENTOR – "Do you volunteer in ministry anywhere?"

PETER – "Well – I’m a pastor, why would I volunteer in ministry?"

MENTOR – "Just humour me…do you put in unaccounted-for-ministry time that might be considered volunteer?"

PETER – "A few hours here and there, between youth, quizzing, Pregnancy Care Centre etc probably about 10 hours a week – why?"

MENTOR – "Good. If you are asking people who work between 40-50 hours a week in their careers (be it job or home maker) to add more hours on top of that as a volunteer – if you are going to expect people to do this for you then you had better be doing it as well."

 

That’s when the light went on in my head. It does not matter that for me career and ministry overlap; if I am going to expect people to volunteer in ministry I had better be doing the same. If I want people to donate several hours of their precious time to ministry I need to be setting the example and do the same thing. I cannot very well be asking people to tack hours onto their 40-50 hour work week if I am unwilling to do the same. Doing this (or attempting to anyhow) has helped remove some of the bitterness and cynicism I have felt. I say helped because this is still a work in progress for me. It has also helped me empathize more with the plight of the tired, busy congregant.

 

 

Manitoba skies are grey with autumn’s cloak

while decay holds hands with the dying

lost life gives up its last breath

and the bones of the earth turn cold

 

black stone ground lifts a dark haze

carnage from burnt orange serpant

snakes quiet along the horizon

as fields burn with pathetic homage

each farmer’s quarter a new altar –

one hundred Cains’ empty futile offerings

unwanted stubble earning only winter’s curse

 

best sleep now as sun runs away

stealing heat and life and love

and dream of pennies on the eyes of Spring

Made it back finally. The flight was uneventful and the conference as a whole was very very good.

 

The final plenary speaker this morning was Dr. David Haskell, associate professor and program coordinator of journalism at Wilfred Laurier University. I had the pleasure of sitting next to Dr. Haskell at dinner last night when he randomly decided to sit down at our table. He recently published a book called Through A Lens Darkly: How the News Media Perceive and Portray Evangelicals. This morning’s presentation was based largely upon his research and findings. Dr. Haskell’s study is the very first empirical research of media portrayal of evangelicals in the country and it proved a point that many have suspected for quite some time – there is significant , measurable bias amongst the media in Canada against evangelicals.

 

The title of this morning’s presentation was How "they" see you: Putting your best faith  forward, and it focused on how evangelicals can work to change the media perception. The suggestions were broken down into two categories…easy (small pill) and difficult (reconstructive surgery). Ultimately one of the conclusions is that the media’s perception (however biased) is a reflection of the culture’s and the culture’s (however skewed) is based upon its observation of evangelicals placing much of the blame for the bias squarely into our laps. Hypocrisy and lifestyles that are not distinct from the world around us are significant contributors to the culture’s perspective which feeds the media which in turn feeds culture and the vicious cycle is at work.

 

There was lots in the presentation and I am already a significant way into the book and I will write a review when I am done so I am not going to flesh out the content right now but I will leave you with Dr. Haskell’s final thought from the presentation and leave the rest to your imagination: