When I’m Up

On May 15, 2008May 15, 2008 By CantelonIn Uncategorized3 Comments

On my walk to work this morning I was listening to "The Pod" when the Great Big Sea version of the song When I’m Up (I Can’t Get Down) shuffled to the fore. Now I REALLY like Great Big Sea (www.greatbigsea.com) and this is my favorite song by them. The song was originally written by Oysterband (www.oysterband.co.uk) a british folk-rock group.

As I was listening to the lyrics I began to sense Christ in them. This can be frustrating for some who know me…there are times when I can see Christ in everything…they are thin places for me when Heaven and Earth feel very close. They are rare moments and I treasure them. Anyhow as I was walking to work listening and re-listening to the song I was struck by how powerful the lyrics are and I imagined the song as the words of Christ to His disciples (and to us). I don’t know what the original meaning of the song is despite deep web searches I can find nothing from the band. Some have suggested that it is about the up side of manic depression, others about drug abuse. Who knows – all I know is that when I listen to the words as though they are both Christ speaking to me and someone speaking about Christ, I am up too:

I am the fountain of affection
I’m the instrument of joy
And to keep the good times rolling
I’m the boy, I’m the boy,
You know the world could be our oyster,
You just put your trust in me,
Cause we’ll keep the good times rolling
Wait and see, wait and see….oh wait and see!

His exhaltation, a sweet disintegration.
A few discolorations, then it comes along
up is why he chooses, the kisses and the bruises
There ain’t nothing he refuses, then it comes along
It comes along, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!

[Chorus:]

When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground
When I’m up I can’t get down
Can’t get down, can’t get level
When I’m up I can’t get down
Get my feet back on the ground

He just needs, something to blind him
Something to wind him up
It won’t take long to find him
When it comes on strong.

Wise guys are grinning, street lights are spinning
The night is just beginning, and then it comes on strong
It comes on strong, and I am lifted, I am lifted, I am lifted!

[Chorus]

Oh it comes on strong, and I am lifted.
It comes on strong, and I am lifted.
I am lifted, I am lifted!

Chorus

In the words I hear Christ speak of Himself and His nature as the source of all good and joy. I also hear the need to walk to the cross and to be lifted up. I hear the reality that this is the only way for this joy to be made permanent and accessible to all…He can’t get down…this is not the way. Up is why He chooses the kisses and the bruises. To be lifted up is why there ain’t nothing He refuses. Christ is the fountain of affection and the instrument of joy in whom we put our trust.

The sound of the song is joyous and reflects the true tenor of the crucifixion – we are too sombre I think in our reflection on the cross. It is through the pain, sacrifice and the death of Christ that the Kingdom of God enters the world – and this is joy. It is the common mood and response to death in the Irish wake (another reason why I appreciate the Great Big Sea version)…a mood of celebration and not gloom.

I should stress that this is MY interpretation of the song and not necessarily the meaning intended by Oysterband when it was written. Nevertheless it has been a valuable exercise for me to look for Christ in the world.

Memories of Savagery & Holocaust

On May 15, 2008October 31, 2012 By CantelonIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Serendipity occurs in such interesting and unpredictable ways (such is its nature). Tonight I was driving to Tim’s when I began to think about lost memories that have been found; about the nature of memory and what’s important to remember and what we should forget.

So I decided I would come here to virtual land and write some observations I have about the whole thing and maybe work through it a bit. As I was firing up the laptop Criminal Minds started (very good show) and at a certain point one of the FBI officers has to meet the father of a murder victim near the body of his dead daughter. As the father is attempting to get to the body the FBI officer quietly speaks the following words to the man:

“It’s not a memory you want.”

They’ve used this line before in the show and I love it. It leaves the person with a choice to avoid pain. “It’s not a memory you want.” What kind of memory don’t we want? We do not want memories that cause us pain or remind us of pain. These are not memories we want.

When I was visiting Ontario after the death of my step-father last month I learned to my surprise in conversation with my Mum that I had forgotten some pretty significant incidents from my youth. Pretty savage and horrific things that we went through. My aunt (who was there at the time) thought it was probably a good thing that I had forgotten these things. My Mum on the other hand was adamant that I remember them and so she went through them in fairly uncomfortable detail.

I’m starting to think that maybe Mum was right and that these memories, as terrible as they are, must be retained. Memories of savagery. Memories of holocaust. Poet and philosopher George Santayana wrote “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” (1905). The idea behind this is clearly a warning to remember horror. If we were “condemned” to repeat unremembered bliss we would all frequently have our memories wiped. No – this is a warning to not forget the evils that have been perpetrated on us and by us; on others and by others.

In our lives painful memories tie us to the past in ways that bliss does not. Pain is more concrete. And – the past is important to who we are now. And – who we are now is important to who we are becoming…who we will become. To restrain or deny these memories is to run the risk of having them repeated or worse – sub-consciously re-enacted by us in twisted new ways.

In 1 Corinthians 11:24 Paul reports the words of Christ as He presided over the Passover supper with His disciples – “And when he had given thanks, he (broke the bread), and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.”

These words reported to us by Paul are older than the recollections of the Gospels (according to a scholarly concensus) and have been dated to roughly 54 AD, or within approximately 20 years of Christ’s resurrection.

These words of Christ are the foundation for one of the two ordinances or sacraments we observe in the Protestant church (seven in the Roman Catholic tradition) and they are not meant to create a memorial of the triumphant resurrection of Jesus. Communion/The Lord’s Supper is meant as a memorial of Christ’s death. A memorial of a gruesome and painful execution. Remembrance of personal savagery and horror.

It is important to recognize that this memory of horror is vital not simply because it illustrates the evil humanity is capable of and the ultimate end of all evil (death) but also because it was through Christ’s death that something significant happened in human history. We remember this death in all its gruesome detail because it has caused us to become who we are now and this memory should shape us into who we will become. We remember the resurrection not as the ultimate saving act of Christ but as evidence the saving act had happened, the first fruits of the saving nature of His death…this is why the imagery used by Jesus is that of a broken body and shed blood.

Memories of savagery and holocaust are important. If we hold them we can allow them to shape us in a healthy way, we might become something better than what we were…if we deny them or try to hide from them they will still change us, but not necessarily for the better.

Wake Up

On May 12, 2008 By CantelonIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I kept trying to wake up

and it wouldnt happen

just frozen

unmoving

getting angry

questions floated around

"were you as surprised as I was?"

dream and dream and dream

nonsense after nonsense

then – awake (I think)

To Mothers…

On May 11, 2008 By CantelonIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

The Mother by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Here I lean over you, small son, sleeping
Warm in my arms,
And I con to my heart all your dew-fresh charms,
As you lie close, close in my hungry hold . . .
Your hair like a miser’s dream of gold,
And the white rose of your face far fairer,
Finer, and rarer
Than all the flowers in the young year’s keeping;
Over lips half parted your low breath creeping
Is sweeter than violets in April grasses;
Though your eyes are fast shut I can see their blue,
Splendid and soft as starshine in heaven,
With all the joyance and wisdom given
From the many souls who have stanchly striven
Through the dead years to be strong and true.

Those fine little feet in my worn hands holden . . .
Where will they tread ?
Valleys of shadow or heights dawn-red?
And those silken fingers, O, wee, white son,
What valorous deeds shall by them be done
In the future that yet so distant is seeming
To my fond dreaming?
What words all so musical and golden
With starry truth and poesy olden

Shall those lips speak in the years on-coming?
O, child of mine, with waxen brow,
Surely your words of that dim to-morrow
Rapture and power and grace must borrow
From the poignant love and holy sorrow
Of the heart that shrines and cradles you now!

Some bitter day you will love another,
To her will bear
Love-gifts and woo her . . . then must I share
You and your tenderness! Now you are mine
From your feet to your hair so golden and fine,
And your crumpled finger-tips . . . mine completely,
Wholly and sweetly;
Mine with kisses deep to smother,
No one so near to you now as your mother!
Others may hear your words of beauty,
But your precious silence is mine alone;
Here in my arms I have enrolled you,
Away from the grasping world I fold you,
Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone!

Surprised By Hope

On May 9, 2008 By CantelonIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’m often surprised by just how much of a nerd I am. There are various breeds of nerd (techno, geek, brainiac, etc) and I manage a healthy combination of most. Today I am a theology nerd (bookworm type, often seen travelling with nose so deep in book that they can be found tripping over things and injuring themselves).

I was excited to come home and learn that my copy of N.T. Wright’s latest book – Surprised By Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church, had arrived. If it were not for the fact that I am already reading his ridiculously huge book The Resurrection of the Son of God, I would be diving right in as we speak.

As a proud nerd I offer other nerds a couple of websites worth visiting:

http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/

http://www.ntwrightpage.com/

http://www.tomshardware.com/

Cool Water…

On May 7, 2008May 8, 2008 By CantelonIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Today was the day. The wind was warm and soft from the South West. I stood on the diving board this sunny May 7th eve, flexed and dove. 11 degree water to test the 40 year old heart (survived thankfully). Not to be alone in the endeavour I shamelessly bullied others in as well. Yes – the pool is open but could use a tad more warmth.